🇰🇷 Lesson 1: Speaking Casually: 반말 & Switching Styles

You've been meeting 지수 at a language exchange for a month. You get along, you're the same age, and the polite -아요/어요 endings are starting to feel like a glass wall between you. Then one evening she says: 우리 동갑인데 말 놓을까요? ("We're the same age, so shall we drop the formality?") This is a real moment in Korean friendships. If you say yes, you need to be able to speak 반말, not just recognise it. That's this lesson.

🧠 The Mental Model: Distance, Not Rudeness

In the beginner tier you learned to recognise 반말 as "해요 minus 요". That rule still covers most of it. What's new is the social logic. 반말 isn't rude in itself. It signals closeness and, sometimes, hierarchy. Korean speech styles work like a distance dial:

The danger isn't 반말 itself. It's using it uninvited, because that claims a closeness or a rank the other person never agreed to. 뭐 해? is warm from a friend and insulting from a stranger.

🗣️ Statements and Questions: Same Form, Different Tune

As in 해요체, a 반말 statement and question are the same string. Only your intonation changes. Rising pitch at the end makes it a question.

Casual reactions matter as much as full sentences: 응 or 어 (yeah), 아니 (no), 그래 (okay / sure), 맞아 (right), 진짜? (really?), 고마워, 미안해, 잘 가, 내일 봐.

The two dedicated question endings: -니? and -냐?

Alongside the plain 먹었어?, 반말 has two more question endings. They're optional, but you will hear them constantly, and they carry a different feel.

Both attach straight to the stem, and the past works as usual: 갔니?, 먹었냐?. As a learner, default to plain -아/어? and let -니 and -냐 come gradually. In the traditional written standard, adjectives take -(으)냐 (좋으냐?) and verbs take -느냐 (먹느냐?). In real speech almost everyone says 좋냐? and 먹냐?. You'll meet this again in Lesson 2, where -냐 turns into the reported-question ending -냐고.

🤝 Let's: -자

The 해요체 "let's" form (가요, 먹어요) is ambiguous. 반말 has a dedicated suggestion ending, -자, attached straight to any stem:

"Let's not" is -지 말자. 먹지 말자 means "let's not eat", never 안 먹자. There's no past or future here: -자 is always about now or later, like English "let's".

📣 Commands: -아/어, -아라/어라, -(으)렴

This is where 반말 gets subtle: there are three ways to tell someone to do something, and they carry very different relationships.

The -(으)렴 column behaves like -(으)면: add -렴 after a vowel or ㄹ-stem, -으렴 after a consonant, and the irregulars wake up (들으렴).

"Don't" is -지 마 (반말) or -지 마라 (해라체): 걱정하지 마 ("Don't worry"), 울지 마 ("Don't cry"), 거짓말하지 마라 ("Don't lie", from a parent).

👤 Pronouns, Names and "That Kid"

반말 unlocks words that polite speech avoids, especially a real word for "you".

Names in 반말

When you call a friend, add -아 after a consonant and -야 after a vowel: 지훈아!, 민지야!. When a consonant-final name is in the middle of a sentence, casual speech inserts 이 before particles: 지훈이가, 지훈이는, 지훈이랑 ("with Jihun"). Vowel-final names don't need it: 민지가, 민지는. These are given names only. You don't add -아/-야 to a surname, and you'd never use them with someone older than you.

🔑 Getting the Key: 말 놓다

Switching to 반말 is usually a small explicit negotiation, and the phrases for it are worth memorising as chunks.

Notice the last row. Switching isn't always mutual. Between people of different ages, the most common result is that the older person uses 반말 and the younger one keeps 해요체, often with 형/오빠/누나/언니 instead of a name. Same-age friends (동갑) usually switch both ways.

🇰🇷 Cultural note: age and 년생. Since June 2023, Korean law counts age the international way (만 나이). Socially, though, hierarchy still follows birth year: that's why people ask 몇 년생이에요? rather than 몇 살이에요?. Classmates are treated as equals even if one was born in a different year, and people born in January or February who started school early (빠른 년생) can scramble the system. Nobody expects a foreigner to master this. Being willing to ask, and waiting to be invited, is what earns trust.

🔀 Switching Styles in Real Life

Speech style follows the situation as well as the relationship. The same two people can switch back and forth within an hour.

You'll also hear 반존대, a deliberate mix of 반말 and 존댓말, for example a younger person who is close to an older friend: 형, 이거 먹어요. 진짜 맛있어. It's friendly but hard to calibrate, so notice it before you try it. Native usage here genuinely varies by family, region and generation, so observe the people around you.

💬 Dialogue: 말 놓을까요?

수진 (28) and 준호 (25) have been in the same hiking club for two months. After a hike, they sit down for a drink.

Notice how 준호 wobbles: 진짜요? is still polite, and he catches himself about to say 네 ("your") to an older person. That hesitation is exactly what switching feels like at first, even for Koreans.

📰 Reading: 반말을 쓰게 된 날

A learner's blog post in 해요체. Read it once for the gist, then again for detail.

⚠️ Common Mistakes

✏️ Practice

🧠 Check Your Understanding

❓ Common Questions

🔮 Looking Ahead

Now that you can speak casually, you'll start hearing casual reports: 민수가 내일 온대, 엄마가 일찍 오래. Those are contractions of reported speech. First you need the full forms: in Lesson 2: Reported Speech I: Passing On What People Said you'll learn to pass on statements, questions, suggestions and commands with -다고, -냐고, -자고 and -(으)라고. The 반말 endings you learned today (-냐, -자, -아라) will turn out to be the building blocks.